Goodbye My Lover
by purple-shoe
Summary: Based on the song Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. Harry and Hermione go through some rough times as a couple. Harry changes...and the consequences are disasterous.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: They say all the good ideas just come to you (it happened with JK!) and well this idea just came to me in a flash while I was listening to James Blunt last night. And I have to say alot of this story came from personal expeience so it was fairly easy to write.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, absolutely nothing (apart form the plot!)

PS: Sorry to all HBP fans but for my story to work, I had to make it so that Harry definately did stay on until his seventh year. And how Harry told the prophecy to Ron and Hermione is different too. Just bear with me!

**"Goodbye My Lover"**

**Chapter 1 - How We Used To Be**

_Did I disappoint you? Or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty? Or let the judges frown?_

It was nearing midnight and in the Gryffindor Common room, Harry was sprawled out in his usual chair by the fire reading his favourite Quidditch magazine. The thought of knowing that he had only one year of school quidditch left really made him feel nostalgic so he aimed to make the most of it while he could.

At that moment Harry heard a door shut from above and the patter of light footsteps coming down the stairs. He knew that this could only be one person - Hermione (his girlfriend of 9 months). She ran up to him, gave him a swift kiss on the cheek and sat down on the couch nearest him. He continued to read his magazine.

"Harry guess what I finally managed to book us that table for tomorrow!"

"Huh?"

Harry reluctantly tore himself away from his Quidditch magazine to look at Hermione.

"Tomorrow Harry, don't you remember?"

Harry sighed "What about tomorrow?" he asked.

"Hogsmeade?" said Hermione eagerly. Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Oh come on Harry don't you remember?"

Harry simply shrugged again and looked back at his Quidditch magazine. Hermione felt her happy mood fall rapidly.

"Remember last month you were playing Quidditch on the Hogsmeade day so you promised to take me out to lunch this time," Hermione said as she crossed her fingers, playing for it not to happen again.

"Oh no I can't tomorrow Hermione, I'm playing quidditch."

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

Yup, it happened again. Hermione yet again felt her heart break as yet again Harry was ditching her for Quidditch. This had been a regular thing for a few months now. And yet again her eyes began to sting from holding back tears.

"But - but there's no match tomorrow."

Harry looked up at Hermione and sighed. "_No_ but I organised a friendly team match against the Hufflepuff's."

Hermione knew from the tone of Harry's voice that she was treading very thin ground but she lad to let Harry know how she felt.

"Harry plaese tell me you're kidding...Harry?"

"No I'm not," said Hary, sounding rather impatient now.

"But - but we've had this date planned for weeks," pleaded Hermione. "Couldn't you just cancel this one time...for me?"

That did it. Suddenly Harry slammed his magazine and sat up staring straight at Hermione.

"Hermione I'm Quidditch Captain! _(Don't I know it, thought Hermione)_ I can't just cancel a team match they're too important and I can't let everyone else down!"

Believing his word to be final, Harry laid back in his original position on the couch and picked up his magazine, as if Hermione wasn't even there any more.

"No...you can't let them down," Hermione agreed, muttering under her breath. She stood up and, with no strength left, allowed her tears to fall freely.

"BUT YOU CAN LET _ME_ DOWN!"

And with that, Hermione ran up to her Head Girl dormitory - taking what was left of her pride with her - slammed the door shut and collapsed onto her bed.

_So I took what's mine by eternal right _

_Took your soul out into the night _

_It may be over but it won't stop there _

_I am here for you if you'd only care _

She turned to her side to look at a framed picture of her and Harry on her bedside table.

_Harry and Hermione. Hermione and Harry. _

They were the most famous couple in the school, and seemed to be the most suited for each other. Each others best friend amd each others rock. Most of the school saw it as more of a relief than a surprise when Harry finally plucked up the courage to ask Hermione out.

_"Its about bloody time!" Ron had said._

But right now this wasn't the Harry she knew, the Harry she fell in love with. Yes by looking back at how things were at the beginning, things had definately changed...

_--_

_Flashback (midway through 6th year)_

_You touched my heart you touched my soul _

_You changed my life and all my goals _

_And love is blind and that I knew when _

_My heart was blinded by you _

_I've kissed your lips and held your head _

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed _

_I know you well, I know your smell _

_I've been addicted to you _

_It had started off as just an ordinary night but it was extremely significant to Harry, as that night in the common room, he had chosen to tell Hermione about the prophecy. He chose to tell her first as, for him, she would be the hardest to tell. The thought of possibly not getting to spend the rest of his live with Hermione and everyone else tore him to pieces._

_The pair were sitting alone in the common room and Harry had his hands supportively on Hermione's shoulders. She was taking it alot better than he thought, though a few tears couldn't help but escape her eyes._

_"Are you ok?" he asked._

_Hermione let out a small laugh. "Shouldn't it be me asking you that?"_

_Harry smiled. "It's taken a long time to sink in but im fine. Really. I've thought about it and If I'm the only person who could stop Voldemort from destroying innocent lives then so be it. I'd rather die knowing people were free to walk the streets rather than to live the rest of my life in fear."_

_Hermione smiled back. "Spoken like a true hero." There was a hint of sadness on Harry's face. "But-?"_

_Harry shrugged "But...the thought of not spending the rest of my life with you and Ron it just -, "_

_Harry tailed off and his head fell into his hands. Hermione held his hand._

_"Harry you shouldn't be thinking about that. You know that me and Ron will be by your side no matter what. You should be thinking about the fun we are going to have, not what we may miss out on."_

_Harry squeezed Hermione's hand and pulled her into an embrace "Thanks Herms."_

_The pair then spent the whole night generally chatting with the odd game or two flung in. _

_"Just like old times," they both thought._

_It was nearing 5am when they had finished their third game of "Who Am I" and Harry had correctly guessed that he was Gilderoy Lockhart._

_"You cheated!" yelled Hermione through laughter as she wiped the names off their heads with a flick of her wand.._

_"Did not, I won fair and square - and it only took me 3 questions to get it right."_

_"Oh yes? So the question "Am I full of myself even though I've lost my memory?" just came randomly into your head?"_

_"Of course," said Harry cockily. But he couldn't hold it any longer and be burst out laughing. Hermione slapped his arm while desperately trying to remain serious about the matter._

_"That's cheating!"_

_"That hurt!" _

_For a while they sat unitl their laughter died away. Harry put his arm around Hermione. They both knew that it was in a friendly manner but what they didn't know was that they both wanted it to be more._

_"I don't know what I'd do without you Hermione," said Harry._

_"Hey hold it right there we said no more depressing stuff tonight!"_

_"Yeah I know but I'm being serious. Hermione if anything happened to you I don't know what I'd do. I mean... that night in the Department of Mysteries...for a split second I thought I had lost you..and I felt sick."_

_He reached out and held her hand, stroking it with his thumb exactly like he did in second year when she was petrified._

_"Harry, every day I feel sick knowing I might loose you."_

_Harry sighed. "What are we like eh?"_

_Hermione sighed too. "I know."_

_Harry leaned in closer and cupped her face with his free hand. Hermione held back her gasp._

_"Harry," she whispered. "What are you doing?"_

_"Something I should have done a long time ago."_

_And he placed his lips on hers..._

_--_

And that was how it happened - how their happiness began. The next few months were filled with so many memories and they both couldn't be happier. Just like every other couple in this world, the odd argument would arise but nothing too serious. But then the arguments became more common...

Hermione saw a difrerent side to Harry - and it was a side that she did not like one bit. She knew that Harry had a bit of a temper but she had no idea of its extent.

He began to call her names when he got angry. Initially she thought of it as nothing as he always apologised afterwards, but as time went by, it got worse.

Hermione always considered herself to be quite a thick skinned person. People always commented on this, particularly in her 4th year when Rita Skeeter's articles were roaming about. But somehow it wasn't the same when Harry called her names. But why was this? One late night girl talk with Ginny soon cleared it up...

_"It's because you love him," she had said. "It hurts the most when its the people we love who hurt us."_

How true she had thought. Words like 'stupid' and 'moody' are nothing but somehow they mean so much more when its Harry who said them. But why would he say such things? Did he not know the damage it did to her? Every night before she went to sleep she would assure herself of the same lie...

_"He's just really stresses. He doesn't mean it."_

...in the hope that one morning when she woke up, it would turn out to be true.

But it wasn't only the name calling that became a problem...it was Quidditch.

Hermione was always very supportive of Harry's Quidditch as she knew it was one of the few happy things about his life. And even right at the beginning of the relationship she knew that Quidditch was a huge aspect of Harry's life.

She loved when she spent a day watching the match and (usually) celebrating with him at night. When Harry became captain in 6th year - she was so happy for him as she knew it was a dream come true to him. But not long into 7th year he began to take it much more serious.

When they arranged to go out Harry started to cancel at the last minute to play Quidditch - things that they had planned for weeks. It was always happening. And since he made up friendly team matches every week or two - it happened more and more.

He accused her of being possessive but that was not the case. She was just an ordinary girl wanting to spend time with her boyfriend. It now seemed that he preffered the time apart. What had she done wrong?

When he wasn't playing Quidditch, he was trying to take her away from her books to get her to play. At the beginning she would agree on the odd occaision to make him happy and she did sometimes have fun. But she never felt herself, Quidditch simply wasn't her thing. And she thought Harry knew that. But it was all Harry would talk about:

_"You know Hermione actually has really good balance on a broom. I'd say in a year or two she could be pretty damn good!"_

She felt as if half of the school knew about her new "rising talents" in Quidditch - but it wasn't her. She generally didn't like other people knowing her buisness but if Harry had to tell people things - why couln't it be things that are a part of her? Not things that he wanted to be a part of her.

_"He's ashamed of who I really am," she thought to herself. "I'm just the suitable base of which he can model the perfect girlfriend from. I want to be loved for who I am...not what I could potentially be..."_

This depression had a very bad impact on her. She wasn't happy, and because she wasn't happy she was subject to more arguments with Harry.

_"Why don't you just smile and have fun for once," said Harry as he thrusted a broom to her chest. She reluctantly took the broom and mounted it, with tears streaming down her face...which Harry just ignored._

Things were definately not going well. And Hermione cried herself to sleep that night with the horrible thought that perhaps Harry and her may not have the "happily ever after" future that she had always wanted...

_Goodbye my lover _

_Goodbye my friend _

_You have been the one _

_You have been the one for me..._

A/N: I'm know its sad and Im gonna warn you the now that there is more to come incase any of you were expecting a happy story. I welcome your comments! Thank you!

Stephy xx


	2. Chapter 2

**"Goodbye My Lover"**

**Chapter 2 - Im still here...but where are you?**

_I am a dreamer_

_But when I wake_

_You can't break my spirit_

_It's my dreams you take_

That night Hermione had had a terrible night's sleep. She got out of bed the next morning feeling - if possible - worse than the night before. One of the advantages of having your own dormitpry as Head girl was that there was nobody around to ask what was up with you if you were feeling down. Owing to the fact that she planned on doing nothing today, Hermione took her time in getting showered and dressed. She made her way down to the common room and was met by Lavender and Parvati.

"Hermione, surely you're not going out dressed like that?"

Lavender and Parvati were both looking at her with an 'are-you-serious' sort of look on her face. Though it probably wasn't meant to sound like it Hermione took quite a bit of offence to Lavender's remark. She didn't think she tooked that bad.

"Why what's wrong with me?" asked Hermione questioningly as she looked down at her blue jumper and worn black jeans.

"No nothing's wrong," said Lavender quickly, obviously correcting herself. "I just thought you would have made a bit of an effort today."

"Why would I do that?" asked Hermione as she collapsed on the nearest seat.

"Well aren't you going out for lunch with Harry today?" asked Parvati. She looked at Hermione's confused expression. "You told us last week."

"Oh...right," said Hermione. "Um..we're not going...Harry has to play Quidditch."

Lavender tutted. "God what is it with boys and Quidditch?" she said while putting on her jacket. "Oh well knowing Harry he will make it up to you big style!"

_"Sure he will," thought Hermione. "He never keeps any of his promises."_

"Well we're heading down the now if you want to join us?" she aked.

"Maybe later," she lied. She had no intention of going anywhere today. "I may head to the library."

"But you said last night that you don't have any work to do?"

"I know," said Hermione.

There was an awkward silence in which Hermione just bowed her head and stared at her feet.

"Ehhh ok then, we'll keep an eye out for you incase you change your mind," said Parvati. Both girls gave Hermione a quick wave and left, leaving the common room deserted.

Hermione took this time alone to wonder if Harry would actually apologise to her. Well, she thought, he had made no effort in seeing her this morning and it was nearing half past ten.

_Obviously too busy playing Quidditch._

Well she decided that she wasn't going to go look for him and give him that luxury. Instead she found herself heading to the library, her bag bulging with books. For seven years she had never failed to find something to study...even if she didn't have homework.

--

Parvati and Lavender left the common room to head downstairs. In the entrance hall they saw Harry collecting some Quidditch equipment, surrounded by his usual crowd of young fangirls (who didnt know any better).

"Hey Harry," said Lavender.

Harry turned to face the girls. "Hey girls," he said cheerily.

"More quidditch practice?" asked Lavender. "You guys seem to be doing alot lately."

"Yeah well thats what it takes to keep this in shape," said Harry smugly through a wide smile.

The girls forced a laugh and smile.

"Nah but seriously we just wanna improve her chances of winning," said Harry. "Its is our last chance remember."

Parvati butted in "Hey but I thought you and Hermione were doing something today?"

"I know but we had a change of plan turned out we were both busy today. Hermione said she had some work to catch up with or something. You know what shes like with her work."

Parvati sighed "Hmm yeah,"

"Anyway I better be going. If you girls aren't doing anything you're always welcome to come and watch. You know how we love our female fans. See you later girls."

The girls forced yet another smile and waved as Harry gave them a smug wink and strutted off - lapping up all the attention form the girls watching him.

The girls kept up their fake smile until Harry was completely out of sight.

"What. An. Arsehole," said Parvati as she rolled her eyes. "Honestly is there any sense that comes out of his mouth nowadays or is it all just crap?"

"Just crap," answered Lavender. "Both busy my ass!"

"You know he really should be directing all that flirting of his to Hermione rather than every other girl in school," said Parvati. "If Hermione even knew the amount of times he has flirted or winked at us,"

"Yeah but we couldnt tell her that, if we did it would break her heart," said Lavender.

Parvati sighed "Yeah but if we don't I think Harry may get to that first..."

--

The match turned out to be alot longer then Harry had predicted. It was nearing half five when him and Ron were making their way from the changing rooms and back to the castle.

"I was planning on scheduling a team friendly with Ravenclaw next Sunday if you're up for it?" asked Harry.

"Bloody hell Harry are you trying to kill me?" asked Ron. Harry laughed. "Well I'm not doing anything are you sure you're not?"

Harry mind then shot to Hermione. He paused. "...no I won't be."

"Not seeing Hermione?" he asked curiously.

"Oh she won't mind," said Harry, casting Ron's comment aside.

Ron paused at the unusual harshness of Harry's tone. "So where was she today?" he asked.

Harry felt a short stab of guilt but it soon dissappeared when he thought of Hermone's behaviour the night before. "No idea," he replied. "Library maybe?"

"All day?" asked Ron sarcastically. "Well now you think about it.." he added grinning to himself. "I thought she would have came to see you today," he said. "She hasn't visited you at practice for weeks."

"No," said Harry. "No she hasn't."

Ron noticed the bitter tone of Hrarry's voice. "Everthing ok mate?"

"Yeah fine," he lied. "Look I'm going to try find Hermione I'll get you at dinner later. See you."

"Yeah see you," said Ron.

As he watched Harry run towards the castle Neville approached him. "Hey what's up?"

Ron sighed. "You know im not usually one to pu the blame on us guys but...Hermione's my best friend too and...he's treating her like shit Neville."

Neville turned to look at Harry in the distrance. He sighed too. "So whats new? Why is Hermione still putting up with him?"

"She loves him," said Ron. "But I know she's not happy...but she wants to be"

"The whole school knows he's being an arsehole," said Neville.

"Yeah," said Ron. "...except himself."

_And as you move on..._

_...remember me._

_Remember us and what we used to be..._

Unbeknown to Harry, Ron and Neville Hermione had spent the last half an hour sitting outside in the grounds. She watched as Ron and Harry had left the stadium, spoke and then parted as Harry walked on himself. She was only a matter of meters away from him, she could have easily ran over to him but...for some reason...the distance seemed so much farther in her head. She could see him growing further and further away...and she didn't know what to do.

--

By the time Harry made it to the library, Hermione was making her way out. Her mind was so deep in thought that she almost collided with Harry.

"Sorry." she muttered.

Harry leaned in for a kiss but she twisted her head so he only got her cheek. This caught Harry off guard.

"Eh...how was your day?" he asked.

Hermione looked at him in shock. How could he have the nerve to ask her that?!

"Oh well you know spending the whole day alone in the library is a scream! Way much better than a romantic date in Hogmeade!"

Hermione pushed her way passed him and began to walk away. Now Harry was getting pissed off. He soon cought up with her and grabbed her arm roughly to hold her back.

"Ow! Don't pull me like that Harry, it hurts,"

"We've been through this before," snapped Harry. "I can't can-"

"-cancel a bloody team match because they're too bloody important," said Hermione finishing his sentence. "Yes I know."

"Well why didn't you come and watch me today?" asked Harry bitterly.

"And why would I want to watch you play Quidditch all day...for the millionth time!?"

"Well Parvati came to watch Dean," Harry spat. "It's what all the other girlfriends do!"

"Well I apologise but I'm not like other girlfriends! You've ditched me yet again and its really starting to annoy me!"

Harry shook his head at her in shock. "You are so selfish! Why don't you actually show me some support for once in your life!"

Hermione froze, stunned at what Harry had said. Other students who were passing by in the corridor also stopped, they too stunned by Harry's words. Memories of the past 7 years flashed through Hermione's head. Her eyes began to sting with tears, her breath shaky.

"I don't support you? Is that what you said?"

Harry said nothing and Hermione continued to stare at him.

"I...dont supprt you?"

Harry stared blankly at her. She saw nothing in his eyes - no love, no caring.

"Who has risked her life to be by your side for seven years? Who has continuously broken school rules to help you? Who has stuck by you through thick and then when NOBODY believed your word?! WHO?"

Before Harry had got a chance to respond Hermione ran off in tears. He recieved one or two dissapproving stares from passers by but he didn't care. He was too pissed off to bother about them...or to follow Hermione.

_"She always cries - she'll be fine."_


End file.
